Flunking Quarantine + Making Worksheets

Funny. We are not even being asked to “shelter in place” yet in Indiana but our family is doing it electively. I’m learning a lot about myself. I’ve learned about my physical space needs. My mental space needs. And my undying love of face to face interactions with other humans. I am embracing daily video chats and attending support groups (aka webinars) but it’s not the same. I miss my friends and I miss time with strangers.

In an effort to be productive, I’m learning how to design worksheets. It’s something I need to know how to do for my work, but it’s also a way to create something in this time where I feel mentally and emotionally stuck.

In an effort to see our situation from another (more positive) perspective we did this reframing exercise on paper as a family yesterday. See our family example below.

I made a prettier worksheet that is a fillable PDF. Store this in your CoronaJournal.

Here’s today’s worksheet: REFRAMING QUARANTINE

Sunday Morning - 5 Practices for Waking Up the Brain

I’ve been am amateur neuroscientist for a couple of years now. The interest was prompted by a coaching training program I immersed myself in for two years called Conversational Intelligence (C-IQ). The program was founded by a woman named Judith Glaser who passed away over the course of four years, while still conducting coaching call programming. She was a force and she ignited the latent neruo-nerd in me.

Since I’m all about depth and health as I kick off the year. I spent the morning in my apps (WHOOP + MyFitnessPal) trying to figure out how to balance my protein, carb, and fat intake and figuring out if my WHOOP app really tracks all the calories I burn in one day. Along with the other mundane tasks of privileged domestic life like dishes, laundry, coffee, making the bed, examining my face for more wrinkles, etc. What swept me away from this exciting Sunday morning of ritualistic activity? An article on engaging my BRAIN (of course).

This is written more like a list of what we all need to do this year (and the first one is a real treat):

1. Learn to juggle - It’s a complex skill that you can practice daily and have fun! There are tons of videos on YouTube that will help you through this.

2. Learn Something New Every Day - This is a great reminder that we live in a world where auto-pilot is easy (see my mundane morning rituals above). Here some inspired ideas: learn a new language, study a musical instrument, dance (see TikTok for frequent dance challenges).

3. Get Enough Sleep - Full disclosure, I didn’t know where to start with this until I got WHOOP. It was a present this December, so I’m new at knowing about my sleep. What’s the big deal in relation to the brain? Sleep is the time for repair and restoration of the bran which allows for the future growth of your neuroplasticity.

4. Exercise - Now maybe you see how well aligned this list is with my personal OKRs?! Exercise impacts the quality of your motor skills, memory, and ability to learn. Physically, exercise is also increasing the oxygen to your brain and releasing hormones you need for expansion.

5. Be Mindful - Meditation seems to be the “go-to” way to do this for the people I know well. Essentially, mindfulness is the quality of being present in the moment and being conscious of your feelings and emotions when they pull you away from your focused work. This practice touts a rewiring of the brain that can help you reduce mental ruminations and emotional reactivity AND increases working memory and cognitive flexibility.

I plan to refer to this list often and start my juggling program today!

Setting Personal OKR's: Health

Even before 2020 rolled in, I was considering how I would handle my new year. I have a habit of seeing an empty calendar ahead of me and feeling an urge to make sure it’s got a lot scheduled before the end of January. As a mother of three, this often means putting things like school breaks, sports, and at least one family vacation on the calendar early in the year. Aside from that planning look ahead, I often aspire to make big goals and accomplish them —- just like everyone else I’m told.

The newest statistic that I read this year is that most people will quit their new year’s resolutions by January 17. Here’s what I know about goal setting from my personal history and research: If I set more than three goals, I’m likely to attain zero of them. I’m more likely to attain a goal if it is hyper-focused on one area of my life.

My word for the year is DEPTH. Therefore, I’m going to go deep on 1-2 goals per quarter and if I’ve not had time to go deep enough, then I’ll carry over those goals for another quarter.

The method of choice this year to map and measure goal attainment is going to be OKR’s (Objectives and Key Results). This phrase has been a buzz word in the tech industry for decades. It was birthed by Andy Grove and applied effectively at Intel. There is a book called Measure What Matters by Jim Doerr, that I’m reading and listening to currently, which is a how-to-guide with interesting stories of various applications of OKRs. Objectives are essentially the “what” you want to accomplish, and Key Results are the objectively measurable steps to “how” you will reach your objectives.

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Now, the information that I’ve nested (intentionally) at the end of this post is the two goals I am setting for myself for the first quarter of 2020. My inner critic is yelling that these goals are so common and boring I shouldn’t even share them. It seems predictable for a woman in her 40’s to set health goals. But what I know, as I’ve seen a glimpse at my personal shifts, is that if I attain these goals I will feel better. I will feel better in my body, my thoughts will be more clear and focused, I will be able to be present and calm with others in a way that’s different than when my mind is jumpy.

Here’s what is written in the small gold glitter notebook you see above.

First, I made a list of about 5-7 health ideas that I would like to focus on to get them on paper. After I did those, I then wrote on the next page the value of those goals to me. What would the attainment of those goals change in my health? I realized that I typically come up with my strongest ideas first and subsequent ideas feed into those. Likely because I have been subconsciously committing to these ideas for weeks already as a mental warm-up to writing them and really committing (oh the mind!).

Here are my two OKR’s for the first quarter of 2020:

Lose 12-15 pounds by March 28, 2020. This is the kickoff of spring break for our family and I hope to be celebrating with a long walk on the beach in a skinsuit that feels better than the one I’m wearing today.

Complete 45 days of Miracle Morning in the first quarter. Miracle Morning is a morning routine that I experimented with last fall. It provided me with incredible energy and clarity. I’ll do an entire future post (or many) on this book, as it was a real difference-maker when I needed one last year.

That’s it. That’s what I want to accomplish in the first three months of this year. It’s easy to write and hard to execute. I’m putting it out here for accountability and conversation.

Written with love from myself to myself.

Starting a Learning Journey

I’ve recently been exposed to a group of people who are influencing how I think and feel about more significantly than I have experienced in years. The obvious assumption I’ve made is that I’m in my 40’s and this is when life “shake-ups” happen. This is supposedly when we reflect on who we have been over the last series of decades, and decide whether the person we have been is authentic to who we truly are or if we look forward and want to find a new definition of self. If I take this moment to look back on who I have been until this moment in time, I feel little shame. I have wandered down many paths, some were exciting and fun, some caused unexpected pain, and some were so scary that I had to turn back.

As I move forward on my current learning journey I want to shed the fear that has held me back in the past. I plan to listen more and to speak less. I plan to look for gifts in people, and myself, instead of seeking flaws. I seek the bravery to share what I’m learning with others and to inspire change. It is an exciting time to be alive and I can see doors opening before me. The practice of writing my thoughts in a public domain may not be the best path for working out my internal development but I find comfort in taking tiny actions and in knowing I am only one small part of this huge universe.

Fresh Start | March19

It’s unbelievable how cyclical this universe is. Three years ago (this month) was my last entry on this website. Today I’m inspired to start a fresh year of personal musings. This entry is really to move the last post out of the way and clear some room for who I am today.

Today's Recipe: A Great Day

I am working with a business coach who is an expert in the health and fitness field. She started writing a blog every day for the first year of her business. My first two months of writing have proven to be very challenging. I have the "I'm too busy" and "I don't have something important enough to say today" mindset right now. It's really time to get over that (because I know that doesn't help me or anyone else).

One of the things my coach said she would write when she felt like she was out of ideas was healthy recipes. I realized that the recipe concept translates well to life. As a self-aware person, I find myself assessing my moods and feelings quite frequently and some days are simply better than others. I have often wondered why and here is my...

RECIPE FOR A GREAT DAY

1. Exercise - Easy ideas I love...walk the dog, quick 30-minute power workout, yoga. Exercise jump starts your serotonin, which is a hormone your brain produces that creates feelings of happiness.  Put your shoes by your bed, or sleep in your walking clothes. It helps you get over some of the early morning hurdles that get in the way. 

2. Feed Your Mind - There are some days I do both 1 and 2 together. This may be something like listening to a podcast that I'm dedicated to, reading a favorite blog site, or even the short exercise of reading the  the Daily Skimm. Do something to get your mind going in a way that interests you after you've woken up your body. I strongly recommend this not be checking email! 

3. Feed Your Body - This is your coffee/tea time, and a great moment to make the right dietary choice for the day. I'm not a health and fitness guru, but I love to start with a high protein breakfast that I know will carry my focus through my morning (along with my coffee). I'm a fan of eggs and cheese for breakfast or a protein shake. 

4. Get Sh*t Done - I have adopted the practices of weekly planning, and daily task making. Try to knock something off your "to do" list early in the day to feel that sense of accomplishment. I'm currently working on a productivity tool that will capture more specifics around how to do this consistently well. 

5. Greet  the Rest of the Day with A Smile - I've found that if I start my day off using this recipe, I have exponentially better days. My outlook is brighter, my energy levels are higher, I feel like I can handle stressors or last minute deadlines calmly. I know I've made a healthy decision in the morning that will help me be a better person and parent and that really goes far when I'm carpooling at 10pm. 

What's your recipe for a great day? 

Interview Diaries: Insecure Interviewer

I recently had breakfast with a friend who has been looking for her next career opportunity for a few months now. We live in a "small" big city (Indianapolis). One of the cool things about this city is that it's accessible, meaning it's easy to network in this city. People are friendly, open to connecting, and that helps when you're looking to make your next career move. That said, there are a bunch of interviewers in Indy making some embarrassing gaffs. I know this is not unique to our market, so I've made a deal with my friend that I will share some of her horror stories without incriminating anyone. These entries are meant to prepare people for less-than-perfect interviews. You will have a bad interview some day, and you'll leave feeling confused. My hope is that you can navigate your emotions and reactions with grace knowing that you're not alone. 

Scene: Panel interview (you on one side of the table and at least three others on the other side of the table)

Main Interviewer: A female of similar age to you who has been hired to do a role that she has no background or proper qualifications for. She has likely networked to her position (good for her!) and needs to hire a top notch team to help her be successful in the role she's recently taken. 

Interview: You walk through your resume, background, and qualifications. You articulate your philosophy on [fill in the blank - role specific] and gain confidence that you can add value to this organization. Everything seems to be going well. The lead interviewer is taking notes, the panel of interviewers are engaged and making eye contact (as opposed to sneaking peeks at their phone under the table). Then you see a shift, it's as if the interviewer decides that she's going to go 'off script.' She squirms in her seat, pushes her papers to the side, leans forward to almost standing and blurts, something like this: "Honestly, I NEED people to stay here. You can clearly do this work. You'll be bored. This organization needs help, and I need someone I know is going to stick around. Are you going to do that? I can't hire someone who is just looking for a J-O-B. What are you looking for? Can you commit?" The entire rest of the panel looks down at their laps in embarrassment. They have no idea what to do or how to help you out, and they're not supportive enough of their colleague enough to help her out by rephrasing the question. You squirm, unsure of what to say. 

Candidate Reaction (Internal): That felt on the verge of hostile. What am I supposed to say in the moment? I am overqualified for the role, but I like the environment and I know I can make a positive impact on this organization. I do want a job. I think I may have to help this interviewer calm down. I am pretty sure there is no way I could work with this woman, much less be directed by her when I know she acts like this. I need to get out of here. 

Candidate Action (In the Moment): "I am confident I can do the job."  (Well done on not meeting high emotions with high emotions - Stay calm in these moments)

Candidate Review: After wondering what she did to provoke the outburst, she realized that she might want to gather a little more information about the position and the interviewer. She tapped into her network and let them know she had the interview, and asked for any more info that might be useful about the role or the leader of the role. As it turns out, the interviewer was hired by a friend to do the job. That would be okay IF the woman was self-assured enough to hire a team of qualified professionals to get the job done. Instead, she is panicky and scared about not succeeding. 

Life Lesson: People hire people they like to do work for them. Sometimes these people may not be qualified to do the work that their friend hired them for. Depending on the nature of the relationship, the person hired may or may not feel comfortable admitting that they can't do the job.

As someone interviewing to be a member of the team, you have to trust and feel respected by your leader. A fundamental tenant of leadership is to show respect for others. If an interviewer (who is going to be your boss) makes you uncomfortable, questions you inappropriately, or presses you for answers they know you can't answer in a first interview, imagine how they might treat you later? 

How I Failed: January 2016 Edition

I was with a group of girlfriends this week. We organized a meeting to do "something," but we weren't really sure what we wanted to accomplish. By the end of the two hours we had shared a lot, finished a couple bottles of wine, and gotten some personal struggles out in the open. One of my epiphanies from this gathering was that I avoid doing things because I'm afraid of failing. One way to get over fear is to take action around the thing you fear the most. Here are two things I failed at this month. 

Writing

I wanted to blog daily or at the very least once a week. I posted three blogs in January. Three is better than none, but not even close to my goal. I did write five thank you notes, and I'm  committed to writing 200 this year. I just did the math and I need to send 16 thank you notes a month to be on track for my goal. This means I'm already 11 thank you notes behind for the year.  I have a few choices at this point. I can beat myself up about my lack of discipline around writing (both blogs and thank you's), I can do nothing, or I can look forward and commit and plan around doing better. 

Here are some blogs that I started but never finished: 

• Writing my Bio...who cares
• What do you want to be when you grow up? 
• The secret is out: If you hate your job, people can tell
• You're not as selfish as you think you are

Exercise

I wanted to get back on my morning gym schedule. This wasn't a resolution for 2016. It was a realization that I had last year. I have a better day when I get up in the morning and exercise before I start my work. Because I have a fairly unpredictable work schedule every week a morning workout stabilizes me by providing me with routine. I exercised in the morning before work five times this month (nuff said). 

January Reflection Questions:

1. What got in the way of accomplishing what I had intended? 
2. What will I do differently this month? 
3. How will I hold myself accountable this month? 

Scratch and Sniff

Think Kit Prompt 5: Scents have the power to take us all kinds of places. What smell takes you somewhere else? Where'd you go?

The smell that takes me back to my childhood is the smell that people naturally possess when they come inside from being outdoors doing any kind of physical activity. I can't exactly explain the smell, but it's likely that you've smelled it. It seems to be a mix of sun, dust, and fresh air on a person's skin, hair, and clothes. I have no better words to describe it. I'll say to my kids, "You smell that you've been outside playing."

The first time I remember this smell was on my grandpa, John Thompson. Every time I get a strong whiff of 'the outdoors smell' it reconnects me with my grandpa for a few seconds. When I was in first grade, I lived with my grandparents. My grandpa had a abundant garden in the back yard that ran along the length of the modest yard touching the white picket fence that separated him and his favorite neighbors. He would spend what seemed like hours out back tending to the garden: watering, weeding, transferring plants, picking fruit, spraying, and talking to the neighbors. When he would come in through the back door to wash his hands in the kitchen sink, I would get a nose full of this smell on him. It's a perfect mix of human and earth! 

A photo of John W. Thompson my grandpa and dedicated gardener (1920-2000) 

Think Kit 2016: Writing Prompts

Getting into the discipline of writing is HARD! It's work. Thank goodness for Think Kit. For four years the writing masterminds at Smallbox have been generating questions to get us struggling writers going. 

There are four prompts currently, and I'm picking my fave of those four today. 

PROMPT: Give us the 30,000 foot view. Or, hone in on a few highlights. Let's bring last year to life before moving on to what's ahead.

2015 Theme: Fortieth Year of Fun

I am a big fan of having fun. For me fun means infusing moments with humor, spending time belting out my favorite songs, dancing with my girls (friends or kids), learning new things, traveling, having meaningful conversations, sipping wine, exercising with a friend, laughing until it hurts, and just generally enjoying my full life with my framily. 

As I reflect on this year, I remember a January team meeting where we talked about resolutions. I consciously went into the year with the intention to be more moderate with my behaviors. Somehow going in with a commitment not to go overboard, resulted in one of the best years of my life. It wasn't good because there were highlights and lowlights. It was a great year because there were consistent positive and entertaining experiences. The less I tried to create meaningful moments, the more meaningful the moments were.  

One of my favorite ridiculous photos from my 40th birthday party

Writing in 2016

I went on a 3-mile walk yesterday and thought about how I might start to write more in 2016. I asked myself: 

"When and how do I write currently that feels comfortable and authentic?"

The answer came easier than I thought. In 2015 I started writing thank you notes following meaningful experiences. I realized that thank you notes don't have to follow favors or events. They are a great way to express my feelings to someone and let them know I appreciate them. Often we forget to thank our friends and family for just being there for us. I will be writing daily thank you notes in 2016 with the goal of mailing 200! 

The first pack of ten thank you cards for 2016.